Randoommmm

People who have been into our life tend to leave sometimes but they'll come back eventually . 

Speaking of which , I've never expected you to come back . It was at the moment when i saw your name pop up in my inbox , millions of things went rushing through my mind , the only thing that didn't cross my mind was that you were going to start a decent conversation with me . But that was all there was , A little conversation , it has been a long long time since we last saw each other . That particular conversation turned into a meeting up session .

Dear diary ,

He said that he wanna hang out , he came looking for me after work , as soon as i saw him walking towards my direction all i really wanted to do was to give him a big hug . Once again the butterflies in my stomach came to life , it's been a long time since they fluttered . P/s it has been a long time since i saw that smile i've missed it so .

He called me as soon as he dropped me home , saying it was nice to see me again , to talk to me . I felt the same way , i was somewhat confused i didn't know what to feel , i thought that what i had with him before was gone . But the feelings came back , just like sugar rush . I was happy .

Days went by ,weeks , i can feel the bond between us getting stronger , i was in denial when i said , nothing's gonna happen between us again . I found myself constantly thinking about him and that's all i think about. And that was when i told myself i had to stop this crazy shit before something serious happens

I told him off , to leave me alone , for i was afraid that what happen before would happen again . I wanted to prevent things from happening .  At that moment i was sure that i would not regret for doing so . But after i told him , and the way he responded to it , made me feel so much worse ,

I felt like such a fool , asking someone who loves me to get out of my life , for once i'll admit that i was depressed for the choice that i've made . I wanted to see him so badly , but he's not answering my calls , i wanted to tell him that i want to start over , and promised that i will control my thoughts

And when i thought hope was gone , He rang , and told me that we should meet up , he misses me . And apologize for not answering my calls , he needed sometime to himself .
 the first thing i did when i saw him was hug him and gave him a big smooch and told him that i miss him utterly much . And that i was sorry for throwing tantrum at him . He smiled and told me it's okay , i've missed you too .

That night , we cuddled and watch movies together  talked all night just like how it was before , but he didn't know that this would be the last time i'll be seeing him . A part of me wanted to stay , continue being with him . But i know that it would only make things worse . All i can do now is to embrace the time i have left with him .

I was at the doctor's a month ago , the same time , he came looking for me . and i found out that i have cancer , it was at a critical stage and i only have one week left , i couldn't bring myself to tell him this devastating news but I'm glad to have shared my last moments of my life with him, I couldn't ask for more .

 
P/s Thank you for being there for me at my time of need .
I will always love you ,
I hope you'll read this , love .