What's this shitz

It's funny how i think of you so much more day after day . I tried to reason myself for this odd behavior but it's unexplainable . But i kinda like it . ;D Its been a while since i felt like this . Feels odd , but in a good way , Hmm . I can't really put it into words nor ways . Omg i sound so cheesy -.- But anyways . I hope everything goes well . Can't wait for you to get back soon . We still have a date to go on ! Remember ? :D
God bless . Xo's

It's alright it's okay i'm so much better without you ;D

Yup we're drifting away , I thought things would be better when i told you about it . Coming clean and all , But it seems that you've fallen really far this time . At least i know i'm not the one who failed . I tried , But mayb it's not enough , Or maybe you're just doing it on purpose , if that's the way you want it , to be away . Then it's fine with me . You've always prefer them rather than me anyway . Hahah , I won't force you . You can befriend whom ever you want . I'm done being the good guy .



 ON THE OTHER HAND , i'm running out of time to perfect my performance . OMFG , i'm super excited but soooooo nervous . I hope i can do it in time . Muahahah wish me luck .



P/s P/s !
I miss him :)


OH YA ! It's christmas eve , Can't wait to celebrate it in church tonight . Oh yeaa babeh ! ♡

Oh the christmas spirit !

Caroling was awesomeeeeeeeeee despite the rain and storm , I'm glad we did it . Tonight's the last night already . It's so sad :( Wished it'd last longer , but it's alright cause it's gonna be christmas soon ! Can't wait . It's sad to see people interpreting the wrong meaning of christmas  , Christmas isn't about the presents , santa clause , christmas trees .  It's about our faith . Our belief , The birthday of Jesus . People who are celebrating for the wrong reasons are missing out the awesome part .  Oh well , It's really nice being able to be involved in church . Being with awesome people just like me . HA HA HA HA HA .

P/s
I've been thinking about you (: 

Can't wait to hang out soon :*

Loyalty :)

And you were saying something about my attitude ? Hahahah , Do you now know what loyalty means ? Pfft , trying to buy people's heart with your lame tricks . You're just someone whom no one actually bother talking to . But thanks to me , things changed till you blew everything , Now you're trying to collect the pieces , Sorry la boss i guess you're back to square one . A nobody . Please don't go around lying to the same circle of people . Now that's pathetic . LOL !

Worthless

It seriously pisses me off when someone does something seriously childish , somemore if you are a friend of mine . So now you're gonna make me look like the bad guy ? I don't give a damn , You have yet a lot more to learn . I don't care what you do or say , I hope you read this cause i want to let you know how disappointed i am . Things that you've said before sounded so wise , mature but in fact you're just some kid trying to act all immature just to prove something . I must say , i've regretted knowing you . And i thought we could remain as good friends , guess i was wrong again . Oh well ,

 

Matt lanter ❤❥♡

Feeling so much better after being away from the computer for a few days and just hanging out with my friends . It doesn't matter if someones puts you second in everything or anything . Because others might put you first at all times . So don't let one person bring you down if she/he doesn't deserve you . Sometimes , letting go is the best you can do . Forgive and forget might not be a bad thing too .

What i have to say i'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkk . No more emo liao lah . Hehe . I'm broke . LOL
p/s so nice the pants I WANT ! ):

BTWWWWWWWW , 90210 is back ! Wuahaahha

OH YAAAAAAAA , btw

MATT LANTER SOOOOOOOOOOO HAWT ❤❥♡

Ttfe

I've always been the kind who takes friendships seriously , In my younger days , i've been struggling to find out who's my true friend and who's not . Again and again , i've been through all sorts of disappointment . Backstabers and stuffs like that . Yet , I never gave up hope for someday i'd find someone worthy of my friendship and what i have to offer , Years have passed and i realize i've grown , Not to be that naive , not to believe anyone easily , not to open up to anyone . But i must say , I'm still on my way to find that one person who can be there for me in my time of need , be truthful at all times , be there on happy occasions and gloomy ones , listen to me when i need to talk , to lend me a shoulder when tears won't stop pouring , agree with me even though i'm wrong . All those shit . 

It would be a lie if i said that it didn't hurt me anymore . I seriously have no idea what went wrong , But it seems that you're so much happier with them so i shan't stand in your way of happiness . I wish you all the best in life , i'm letting you go now because i cannot have my heart ache anymore . Maybe i haven't been a good friend to you . Your words were like sharp spears , yet you're acting like nothing happen , so that's how it's gonna be :) Nothing did happen . and i apologize for any damage caused .

abcfdefereteyat

Been a long time since i last blogged , Everytime i tried starting a new post my mind just goes blank -.- I've just came to realize that i'm not the type of person who keep grudges against people nor just hate them secretly / openly . I think i forgive easily but i never will forget . I know i complain too much at times but i just cannot accept bullshits . Lol . I've came to notice that i'm a pretty open minded person . Mayb a little bit too much but i don't see any bad in it . Right ? Aiya , Okay la i don't know what am i typing also . LOL ! -.- Visit the musketeer's foodblog (: Click here .

Fifth Monthsary ! (L)

Last saturday , The musketeers and i went to Dynasty Hotel for a buffet . In celebration of our Fifth monthsary together . Had tons of fun there , practically laugh our asses of and had a blast , The food wasn't really fulfilling . The desserts were a disappointment too . But overall i'll give it a 5/10 rate cause my awesome friends were there with me :D After the buffet , we went to parkson for a movie ! A chinese one . While waiting for the time to pass we went to coffee bean and chat our lazy butts off . TeeHee . Had an awesome time , seriously Love them to bits . Here are some of the pics , a few of my favorites (:

Oh ya ! Come visit our foodblog MusketeersFoodbloggie (: :D Click on the link and it'll take you to a wonderful place . LOL jk . Have a look :P

Randoommmm

People who have been into our life tend to leave sometimes but they'll come back eventually . 

Speaking of which , I've never expected you to come back . It was at the moment when i saw your name pop up in my inbox , millions of things went rushing through my mind , the only thing that didn't cross my mind was that you were going to start a decent conversation with me . But that was all there was , A little conversation , it has been a long long time since we last saw each other . That particular conversation turned into a meeting up session .

Dear diary ,

He said that he wanna hang out , he came looking for me after work , as soon as i saw him walking towards my direction all i really wanted to do was to give him a big hug . Once again the butterflies in my stomach came to life , it's been a long time since they fluttered . P/s it has been a long time since i saw that smile i've missed it so .

He called me as soon as he dropped me home , saying it was nice to see me again , to talk to me . I felt the same way , i was somewhat confused i didn't know what to feel , i thought that what i had with him before was gone . But the feelings came back , just like sugar rush . I was happy .

Days went by ,weeks , i can feel the bond between us getting stronger , i was in denial when i said , nothing's gonna happen between us again . I found myself constantly thinking about him and that's all i think about. And that was when i told myself i had to stop this crazy shit before something serious happens

I told him off , to leave me alone , for i was afraid that what happen before would happen again . I wanted to prevent things from happening .  At that moment i was sure that i would not regret for doing so . But after i told him , and the way he responded to it , made me feel so much worse ,

I felt like such a fool , asking someone who loves me to get out of my life , for once i'll admit that i was depressed for the choice that i've made . I wanted to see him so badly , but he's not answering my calls , i wanted to tell him that i want to start over , and promised that i will control my thoughts

And when i thought hope was gone , He rang , and told me that we should meet up , he misses me . And apologize for not answering my calls , he needed sometime to himself .
 the first thing i did when i saw him was hug him and gave him a big smooch and told him that i miss him utterly much . And that i was sorry for throwing tantrum at him . He smiled and told me it's okay , i've missed you too .

That night , we cuddled and watch movies together  talked all night just like how it was before , but he didn't know that this would be the last time i'll be seeing him . A part of me wanted to stay , continue being with him . But i know that it would only make things worse . All i can do now is to embrace the time i have left with him .

I was at the doctor's a month ago , the same time , he came looking for me . and i found out that i have cancer , it was at a critical stage and i only have one week left , i couldn't bring myself to tell him this devastating news but I'm glad to have shared my last moments of my life with him, I couldn't ask for more .

 
P/s Thank you for being there for me at my time of need .
I will always love you ,
I hope you'll read this , love .

HeheheH

I am back ! :D well , i've been spending most of my time with ze` musketeers . I'm sure you've heard of it . It's like a super famous group :0 Here let me show you a pic xD

So anyway , it was my bday two weeks ago . Had an amazing bash ever ! Wooohh . But i'll talk about it some other time so here are some pics :3

You called me superwomen`

I just realize that i like to blog whenever i'm pretty down . And i mean really really down . It's like 0222am now I'm supposed to be on my bed now under my warm comforter with my smelly pillow on my face . Life's been pretty different lately , it's so hectic with lots of events and happenings . I can say that my life is kinda happening now but it's somehow sucking my soul . Sleep deprived , Extremely exhausted , mentally and physically .
I'm seriously lacking of sleep . Hopefully when everything is settled i'll have all the rest i need . There are things i would really like to get out of my chest but i can't find anyone suitable to . Not that i don't trust them  or they'll judge me . I have my own reasons . I know they care for me and i thank you guys for that .
Come to think of it , people used to say , i'll always be there for you when you need me . But where's that someone when it's 4am in the morning . That's not the point of me blogging . I'm pretty frustrated about something very particular lately , i've struggling to do the right thing . But i'm so confused , so lost . I have no where to turn to . No one to turn to . It's been a long time since i've felt like this . Blogging with teary eyes , This is so not me but i guess that it made a pretty big impact on me . Feel so pressured and it's all coming from myself if only i could just leave things how they're suppose to be and try not to interfere with fate , i'm just scribbling to whatever that came to mind first so nothing is in order . I'm just typing out what i really want to say without being questioned . ARGH i need ***** so badly  ): If only i was as strong as i was yesterday .
I really wish that i was , superwomen :/ imissyou:)

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Oh hello bloggie ! It's been a pretty long time since i last typed something here . Life has been pretty busy with fun stuff ! Hahahah , I'll post up some pics later ... or mayb when i have time :D 

There are things i want to say but there's just no privacy anymore . It's sad to see something so wonderful to be kept hidden like that . Sometimes i wish you can tell me what's the matter . Sometimes i just feel like giving up . Sometimes i don't wanna care anymore . Sometimes , i wish things were the same . I wish things were the way i thought it was . Just sometimes , I wish you thought about me . About my feelings. 

Sometimes i wish i could tell you what i'm thinking but i'm afraid that we'll get into a big quarrel . Mayb it's just not that easy being with me . I don't know but i really do treat you the very best i could , maybe it's just not enough (?)

Ma ku never thought i'll be this emo . LOL ! Hahaha anyway , i've been missing you since you left , is this what i think it is?  (: Looking forward for your arrival . Teehee , The little things really DO matter . You make me wanna . . . . . ` :D